The Walking Dead finds Jesus. Literally.
We can all agree that there are certain aspects of AMC’s The Walking Dead that seem a little, shall we say, far-fetched. The most improbable of these scenarios will be reviewed here each week.
“Too Long, Didn’t Watch” Episode Recap
It is some time (but not much: Maggie’s gut ain’t baby-bumping) after the Great Walker Massacre, and Daryl and Rick are going on a supply run. They briefly encounter a fellow named Jesus at a gas station, who steals their truck full of supplies. Thanks to the inimitable cardiovascular power of Darick (that’s Daryl/Rick, natch), they catch up to Jesus down the road and get their truck back, but Jesus rises again and turns up on the roof of the truck. A comedy of errors ensues and the truck ends up in a lake, and Darick returns to Alexandria with an unconscious Jesus. Meanwhile, Michonne and Spencer kill zombie Deanna in the woods, and One-Eye Carl and Enid are emo teens, or whatever. Rick and Michonne relax on the couch after a long day and end up in bed together. The internet explodes.
All of a sudden, Rick is a huge music buff. Didn’t see that coming.
“It’s just soda and candy, why bother?” Rick, why wouldn’t you want to molest a vending machine? Are you nuts? Soda and candy are calories, you boob.
Are we really still doing the soda versus pop debate in a zombie apocalypse? Who cares? Priorities, people! (To be fair, I have grown up with both, so I can easily code-switch, but this is never a hill to die on.)
I know Rick and Daryl are in great shape physically, but they are running after Jesus at more than a jogging pace, and they have no idea how far he’s going. Could be 2 miles, could be 20 miles, but by God, they are running balls-out no matter the distance.
Of COURSE Eugene has a strange obsession with sorghum. Frankly, it’s shocking that Daryl and Rick were taken aback by it. Even stranger: they find a barn/shed with “SORGHUM” printed on the side. I’ve seen a lot of farms in my day, and nobody writes their crop on a garage door. Sure enough, though, Eugene’s theory that nobody likes sorghum is correct, because there is an untouched truck full of supplies inside the building.
Despite the fact that Jesus stopped the truck because he needed to change a tire, the truck drives perfectly when Darick takes it back.
From the time they realize Jesus is on the roof of the truck, I thought I was watching a Benny Hill skit. Rewatch that scene while playing “Yakety Sax” and you’ll see what I mean.