The Walking Dead is back! A LOT is happening!
We can all agree that there are certain aspects of AMC’s The Walking Dead that seem a little, shall we say, far-fetched. The most improbable of these scenarios will be reviewed here each week.
“Too Long, Didn’t Watch” Episode Recap
Negan’s gang gets blown the hell up by Daryl. Walker Meat Poncho Gang eventually gets broken up when Sam and Jessie get eaten, and that teenage dickhead Ron gets stabbed by Michonne and he shoots Carl in the eye (yeah, a lot happened in that two minutes, there). Meanwhile, Glenn and Enid are forming a plan to save Maggie, while Morgan et al are just kind of hanging out until Carol shoots the Wolf from a balcony (go, Carol!) and they get Denise back inside just in time to save eye-shot Carl. At the end of the episode, Daryl and his crew are back, and everyone is outside slaughtering an entire herd of walkers like it’s 1999. The next day it looks like Jonestown the morning after, and they’re all chillaxin’ on a porch like “what a night!” This was the best damn episode I’ve ever seen.
When Abraham asked “who’s Negan?” I was extremely disappointed that he didn’t loudly, drunkenly slur it a la “who’s Deanna?” last season.
Rick goes outside and starts taking a hatchet to everyone like he’s friggin’ Uma Thurman in Kill Bill, inspiring everyone else with edged weapons to come out and slaughter walkers too. This is one badass scene from the comics that I was hoping they’d have the balls to do, but they’re not as well-organized as they were in the books.
Now that I have a baby about Judith’s age, I am amazed that she is so well-behaved with packs of strangers. My son bursts into tears if he is surrounded by unfamiliar faces.
Even though Father Gabriel has improved, I can’t believe they entrusted him with Judith. I guess with Tyreese gone, they are desperate for a new black man-nanny, but Gabriel is no Tyreese.
Walker Meat Poncho Gang is still trekking after dark. Jesus Christ, do they seriously expect us to believe they’ve been walking for hours? Are they just doing laps around town?
Does this show think we’re stupid? That little pissant Sam was saying “Mom! Mom!” last time they showed the group walking in their Walker Meat Ponchos. This time he’s all stoic and shit.
There is a church right outside the walls of Alexandria, and it is immaculate and still has bibles and guns lying around? How did the A-Holes (do you like my new nickname for them?) not find and take that stuff already?
Daryl blowing those fuckers up with a rocket launcher?! Totally probable, but I’m putting it here because it made me yell “YEAH!!! RIGHT!!!”