Why Watch? Sleepy Hollow’s ‘Kali Yuga’

T: K! I’ve been adding photos to all my contacts in my phone so when people call me they show up as Smurfs.

M: Lesse. You might appreciate that Carmilla calls him ‘Nicky’.

T: Oh dear. That’s as good as chopping off his hair.

M: You’ll also… appreciate is not the word… how creepily into Hawley she is.

T: …wait. Okay so she’s not mom mom, but she was stand-in mom. How much older is she supposed to be?

M: I assumed no more than 15 years. But still… inappropriate. Also, naturally: evil!

T: Well, of course! There’s a tied-up Hawley to get to!

M: Hawley goes to leave and she’s immediately behind him with black eyes and pointed teeth.

T: Hehehe thank you, writers, for making it obvious. Hawley has no idea? Is he still in some blissed-out adolescent fantasy that she’s there for him, and good for him, and pretty besides?

M: He is a little shaken by the reveal – and, no, he ditched her years ago. As Jenny later tells us, she’s a female Indiana Jones, but more than willing to kill. Hawley wasn’t so into that part.

T: They split ways, but no hard feels? Or is Hawley mad that she’s back?

M: Hawley was not happy to see her. He tells her to find someone else to help with the job.

T: Good Hawley!

M: She says there isn’t anyone, plus he owes her.

T: Uh-oh. Was there a contract? Did he write his name in blood? Does she have Rights to his Soul? …what kind of evil is she?

M: No contract, but he grudgingly agrees to help – and then they’ll be done. It’s unclear if he really feels a debt, or is sketched by her monster side, or what.

T: Do we know what this monster side is? If Sleepy Hollow has taught us nothing else, we know there are puh-lenty of monsters. She isn’t a succubus is she?

M: It’s explained in a bit.

T: k

M: Meanwhile, back at karaoke, Ichabod is warbling his way a capella through some 18th century shanty.

T: Wait, STILL, oh gosh this show does serious disservice to time. And wait NOT EVEN BOB DYLAN OR LEONARD COHEN? REALLY? Fine. I pick them because you don’t really need to know the words to warble through.

M: Jenny is concerned – Hawley isn’t returning her calls and he said he’d only be gone a short while.

T: When did they become a couple?

M: She’s wanting something more out of the non-relationship, that much is clear. Abbie manages to not say anything.

T: Uh-oh. UH-OH. Was there patented NBeharie lip rolling? That sounds weird. I mean the not-bite, not-quite-pursing “concerned lip” thing that she does.

M: Pretty much, yes – she may have found a different way to express that same feeling, but yes. The three are about to head off to hunt for Hawley, when the silent alarm Abbie conveniently installed at the archives goes off.

T: Alarm? Is it in any way linked to a Katrina spell? Or is this a passive-aggressive Mills’ way of showing her lack of faith in Katrina?

M: The reason she put an alarm on the archives is never explained. But it certainly is helpful at this very moment as the trio slips into the ransacked room with flashlights at the ready and Jenny winds up chasing a fleeing figure who is of course…….?

T: Irrrrrrrving?

M: Tanya…. It is a helpful silent alarm, because they were about to go looking for Hawley.

T: Is Irving in this episode AT ALL?? Has Jenny even seen him yet??! ::smashes a caramel::

M: Just so you know, I was expecting us to be done with the entire recap by now. Irving is the B-plot. No word on Jenny.

T: This never takes a sensible amount of time – haven’t we learned that?

M: Yes but it was going to this week!

T: You’re so adorable when you’ve got expectations.

M: You ask too many questions! I would have thought your 4th grade teacher would have broken your inquisitive spirit, but nooooo.

T: I’m a rebel like that.

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About Aaron Mucciolo 206 Articles
He does things. That's all we can say at this time. E-mail: mooch@whatelseison.tv