M: Commercials! Then, Katrina tries to casually chat with Abraham.
T: Because she does that so well.
M: Abraham is less and less smitten with K, and very much more focused on defeating Ichabod and just taking her as his bride.
T: Oh dear.
M: The honeymoon, she is over. I am going to skip all of the Jenny/Irving stuff and you can ask about it at the end if you care. So the dynamic-ish duo follow the snake map and arrive… at the structure from Abbie’s dream last episode!
T: WHAT so much to take in. This is the mama’s lullaby dream?
M: Yup. And there’s almost no way you’d recognize it if you weren’t told. But then the Horseman shows up!
T: Hey ho Silver.
M: My notes don’t help me determine who suggested what plan here, but ultimately Ichabod distracts the Horseman juuuust long enough for the sun to start rising.
T: Oh no! Henry burns! (first single off my forthcoming album)
M: Abraham, but I like the melody. Guess what Ichabod action-movie-hero’s as this happens.
T: Does he Jean-claude van Damme? Does he Rambo up from the lake? Does he “I’ll be baaaahck”? Oh oh please tell me he Bruce Lees! Or he Stallone’s himself up a ton of stairs.
M: Technically he lead sings, but he does it in an action-hero way. (I bring this up only because I was like ‘really’?)
T: Oh BOY. What does he sing? Where do his musical tastes lie? If it’s Beethoven’s fifth, I will do violence to a table.
M: I cannot wait until they all start humming their own soundtracks like a bizarre Peter and the Wolf. No, he glints ‘Good morning, sunshine.’
T: Yes yes yes! Oh PERFECT hahahahaha.
M: Even better – when Abbie disbelieves at him ‘You knew exactly when the sun was going to rise?’ (since this was all timed very very well) what is his response?
T: “My dear leftenant, I was raised with my face to the sun.” “My dear leftenant, isn’t it obvious?” “My dear leftenant, but of course.” “My dear leftenant, here comes the sun doo doo doo doo.”
M: All excellent possibilities.
T: “My dear leftenant, the sun’ll come out tomorrow” in an excellent bass.
M: I want that one. We’ll just move on and pretend that’s what happened.
T: What DID happen??? ::thumps table::
M: “You installed a weather application for me.” Yours is better.
T: Oh man. What a prosaic little colonial. Where’s his imagination?
M: Now we get a whole lotta flashbacks with Abraham and Ichabod in happier times. It would have been interesting enough if they’d kept Abraham more involved in the storylines this season.
T: …how do the flashbacks happen? Seamlessly or clunkily?
M: Seamlessly but who cares-ily?
T: Well it seems a little odd. sort of jammed into the storyline. But I suppose it shall all be made clear.
M: Hey, remember when ‘I’m sure it will all be explained soon.’ was a mantra in which we could have faith?
T: Sigh. those were the days, my friend. We thought they’d never end. We’d sing and dance, forever and a day. We’d live the life we choose, we’d fight and never lose – hey. That. Abraham’s vanquished! The sword’s still out there! Henry’s gimlet eye is upon them! …do they have to be a in a specific place for Henry to see them? Or is this now a Bezosoian drone-mirror-phone that sees them wherever they are?
M: Snerk. I believe it’s just that one mirror in the manor.
T: That makes a lot more sense than a roving spymachine. Maybe.
M: Roving Spymachine’s ‘Maybe’ was one of their best albums.
T: Cult classic.
M: Anyway – the non-sunburnt duo are still a-hunting for the sword.
T: A-huntin for the sword, a-huntin for the sword, hi ho the derry o, a-huntin for the sword (hic)?
M: Yeah, drinking would have helped this episode immensely. The Horseman took a plaque with a symbol on it that was probably a clue; fortunately Abbie remembers it – it leads Ichabod’s mind to ‘As above, so below’.
T: Of course it does.
M: Important aside – that’s a movie that is coming out soon that was being advertised at the commercials, but I can’t find any link between the production companies.
T: Someone someone greased palm uncle something something? Fine, so Ichabod’s had his episode epiphany.
M: The epiphany is more something something Abraham key part of his fate whatever I don’t care.
M: Like I said, all that stuff was meh since we’ve barely seen Abraham this season, and even less with Ichabod.
T: Right. Seriously: brah needs better hair.
M: The clue leads them to loose bricks on the floor, and a oroborus handle on a pair of remarkably unrusted iron doors, and a stone spiral staircase…
T: DUN DUN DUN
M: Down to a cave! Like the one foretold in the snake map!
T: “Don’t go down there! It’s a danger!”
M: In the cave – stone sculptures of various figures, knights and adventurers of all sorts. But wait… a real sword lies at one of their feet, and they all seem to be retreating in fear.
T: Oh good lord. Signs! They’re everywhere!
M: Have you guessed yet what else lies in the underground cave foretold by the snake map?
T: Snakes? Methuselah himself? A thousand demons waiting to be extinguished? The entire cast of Annie, waiting to teach Ichabod his steps? Zombie George Washington! This time with laser eyes!
M: That one wins. We’ll pretend that’s what happened, and move on.
T: ::curtsies:: I’m good at this.
M: You are! You should totally write a book.
T: Anytime you need a misleading wrong answer, come to me.
M: Anyway: it’s a gorgon.