Why Watch? Sleepy Hollow’s ‘Magnum Opus’

M: Scratch smartphones for a sec and think foreheads and famous personages.

T: …the Mona Lisa? Foreheads is not a helpful clue.

M: You’ve never played Celebrity?

T: Ellen Degeneres! Is Ichabod into daytime tv talkshows now?? IS DR PHIL FREAKING HIM OUT? Oooooh is he being swayed by the dulcet medicines of Dr. Oz?

M: No… Tanya….. oy.

T: Ugh. fine. what.

M: Ichabod and Abbie are playing ‘Heads Up’.

T: OH. That is impressive – go them! Who wins?

M: No one. It was a cute throwaway scene that lasted fourteen seconds.

T: …

M: Katrina calls in via the mirror phone to blah blah something.

T: You mean gasp gasp something.

M: It’s possible… I was quickly bored. The point is: Henry smirks his way into the room afterwards and seems to play back the last few lines of the conversation…

T: The mirror is a recording device? Oh fishy fishy – what is this black magic?

M: I miss season one with musical hits like Sinatra’s ‘Witchcraft’

T: Or ‘Sympathy for the Devil”. Sigh. Okay. So Henry’s all spymastering now…

M: Meanwhile the dynamicish duo find an anagram in Grace’s diary that suggests the weapon for which they search is ‘Enoch’s sword’

T: What is the anagram and how do they know it’s an anagram and how do they solve it is it labeled “HEY CHILDREN OF MY LINE: THIS IS AN ANAGRAM”

M: It’s DaVinci Code-y, and not half bad, but not worth recounting.

T: Missed opportunity for awesomeness.

M: Subtitle of this episode. Enoch refers to the bible, and the verse in question tells us it’s Methuselah’s sword – a weapon used to slay a thousand demons.

You are at the edge of your seat, I can tell.

T: Is it back to Gdub’s bible again, then?

M: Nah, regular bible.

T: Hmph.

M: Plus a sketch that suggests the Join or Die woodcut – which *happens* to exactly match some lakes in the area. Which is news to this former Boy Scout.

T: Are we Ben Franklin-ing Excalibur? That seems….decadent. And excessive.

M: Oh you are so with it. In order to retrieve the sword, one must ‘truly know themselves’ – sort of excalibur meets Indiana Jones.

T: Oh for Sean Connery’s sake.

M: Two quick notes about that scene: 1) I must have missed it before, but there’s a friggin’ huge mural of Washington crossing the Delaware on one wall of the archives

T: HA. Does he have laser eyes? That would be rad.

M: 2) Abbie gets the great line ‘Crane, we can’t have lunch without peril.’

T: Oh THAT is lovely. Peril over sandwiches! Peril over pizza! Peril over mac n cheese! I’m delighted.

M: Peril over Pizza is the name of my next restaurant. So guess what’s been happening while this whole scene, all the figuring out and scrambling and planning, has been going on?

T: Reyes has actually unearthed a cartel in Sleepy Hollow. Hawley took Abbie on a date. Katrina got her hair cut. Abraham found a new set of curlers. Henry fell in love with Kim Kardashian’s rump and has decided evil is not for him.

M: There is no evidence that Henry has access to the internet, broken or otherwise.

T: Ah, good point. Moloch is throwing tantrums and Henry’s playing dad? Dude. did Moloch ever teethe?? I imagine that was hideous.

M: Demons don’t teethe; they just channel the rage into world destroying. Anyway – Henry’s been watching the entire time. So Henry sends Abraham out after the sword.

T: Oh? Interesting.

M: Abraham is whining about sunrise coming soon, so Henry’s all ‘then shut up and go fast’.

T: That’s more like it. I just realized why I’m anti-Abraham: forget the whole headless horseman of apocalypse, keeping the Cranes apart deal – he looks like Fitz, as in he looks like the guy who killed Patrick Swayze in Ghost. And there are some thing you just never get over. ::sniffles::


T: It’s his nose.

M: ……..

T: Carry on.

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About Aaron Mucciolo 206 Articles
He does things. That's all we can say at this time. E-mail: mooch@whatelseison.tv