Why Watch? Sleepy Hollow’s ‘Heartless’

T: I just wish we could see Katrina really kick ass at it, you know? I mean. here she is, reading away and incantating and what-have-you…

M: What did you think of her hex in the last episode?

T: Hermione Granger woulda eaten that for tea and then asked for ten more, please. To practice making them better, natch.

M: Radical recasting concept here – Katrina has to go into witness protection or something and her great-great-great-grandniece (Emma Watson) steps in to help.

T: ! Welllllll that would shake some timbers. SO anyhoo – here’s Katrina incantating, and Ichabod being soulsucked, and he (c) stabs the damn woman.

M: … Did not see that coming.

T: It was pretty baller. She hisses and throws him off – but CUT TO: the mausoleum, where the jar hissed to life and Katrina gets flung backwards in a magical OOMPH.

M: Like, animated jar with big, sharp, nasty teeth?

T: The hexes along it flared red, Katrina went flying, and lay still. Abbie smashes the jar and takes up the spell incantation, because Katrina’s out for the count. I mean, COME ON. I thought she was a powerful witch! What’s all this build-up of her mystical powers and she does zip.

M: Maybe it was about the inflection.

T: Abbie gets pronunciations wobbly and it goes fine.

M: Oh then… wtf show? It’s been clear from the start they didn’t really know how to use Katrina, like, actively use the character. She’s quite good as an object to be rescued, but beyond that…

T: Exactly. Anyway, I can’t remember the exact sequence of events but Hawley shows up, the succubus goes for him (easy prey? easier prey?)

M: Unfinished business!

T: Ichabod shoots her, and Abbie finishes the spell and the heart bursts into flame, and the succubus turns into ash.

M: See! FIRE! Did she lose her head as part of turning to ash?

T: Well, presumably. She lost her entire body.

M: So technically all of the above!

T: Except the knee kicking. Oo – we have to back up quickly because I forgot a key thing. In the archives, Katrina has one of her nightmares – a vision, this time. In her vision, she’s in the manor with Henry, peering into a crib, and Henry is lifting a tub of souls (a jar of hearts, a decanter of souls) and she watches as he pours the souls into the crib.

M: A clutch of seagulls

T: And feeds the creature inside… the creature being….

M: Moloch?

T: MOLOCH

M: MOLOCH!

T: MOLOCH THE BEHBEH

M: BEHBEH MOLOCH

T: (caps!!!)

M: (T-SHIRT)

T: It’s basically the Voldemort effect from when he’s attached to the back of quirrell’s head, just, in a crib, eating souls.

M: Like y’do.

T: Aside over, back to succubus vanquishing. Katrina pretty much wakes up once Abbie’s done her work.

M: Is it because the spell was finished and the succubus/hex removed? Or just terrible timing on behalf of the writers? Or – wait, this is good: is she not really much of a witch and was faking being unconscious so she wouldn’t have to do the spell?

T: Seriously. I’m starting to believe her dragon powers cancel out witch powers; it’s hugely disappointing. But here’s the end sequence:

M: Bring it on.

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About Aaron Mucciolo 206 Articles
He does things. That's all we can say at this time. E-mail: mooch@whatelseison.tv