T: It’s my knitting show. If I remember to knit. So anyway there’s Ichabod in TIGHT pants and a scowl over 40% turnout, and Katrina, in the NOW, in a hospital – tell me he faints.
M: I… don’t think his trousers are ever cut *that* restrictively.
T: Snerrrrk. Oh no – do the police think he’s a wife-beater (I mean, she can’t breathe) and he gets taken in for domestic abuse?
M: None of the above – she’s a Jane Doe, remember?
T: (oh and she has no papers anyway, durrr)
M: At the hospital a doctor informs them that Katrina has a fever of 105 and an infection in her abdomen, leading me to my next question – how coherent is Katrina when she wakes and spies her beloved at her side?
T: Not at all. She thinks she’s preggers. And mumbles on about having a beautiful baby with her love, Ichabod, but where is he oh, where is he? ::wheeze::
M: Well I just LOL’d. Turns out she’s capable of saying that Henry did this to her blah blah blah and we get a shot of Bad Stuff happening beneath her skin, kinda like the pestilence episode.
M: And when we’re back from commercials, how is this 105 degree fever affecting dear Katrina?
T: Is she REALLY sweaty? Like, SLICK? She’s fevered and saying random things and uh prophesying stuff?
M: She’s freakin’ sitting up and talking in full sentences, without a drop of sweat visible.
T: Oh, so no effect. Well ::shrug:: she’s a hellfire shard! She was forged in fire!
T: OH WAIT…. new theory – she’s still a dragon BUT it’s the cold that she can’t stand. And that is why she doesn’t breathe right.
T: Not bad, huh? ::eats chocolate:: Go on.1
M: The team knows there’s no value in keeping her at the hospital… but all her clothes were taken.
M: Fortunately, all hospitals have convenient, unguarded lost and founds.
T: What dead woman’s undies is Katrina wearing now?2
M: According to Abbie, they snagged her a “drunk goth chick’s clothes” which happen to fit. Very well I might add.
T: Well you can’t have her swanning around in a mumu – that just wouldn’t do.
M: T-shirt, fashionable corset, jeans and then an escape out the back when she spots the notHessians coming down the hallway. Abbie follows the baddies, the Crane’s head to the clubhouse.
T: Abbie doing the work, again.
M: Well, it kind of makes sense here. But anyway, Katrina places a hex on the door so they’ll know if Henry’s coming.
T: Yay Katrina’s a witch! Think she’ll ever rope Abbie into more magicking?
M: I think the SFX guys were really proud of themselves – we get to see this piece of paper bobbing in the background while she and Ichabod talk. Katrina can remember an image from the book the notHessians were checking when they gave her the eye exam.
T: Oh good, photographic memory.
M: Somehow it’s the most relevant image ever as Ichabod, very concerned, shows her a matching image and tells her it’s a symbol of the Hellfire Club. I will pause for your squees.
T: CLUB SHARD CLUB HELLFIRE DRAGON YESSSSSS
M: And the chocolate goes everywhere.
T: If by “everywhere” you mean “in me,” then yes because rewards. So the Hellfire Clubs are precursor Hessians?
M: I think they’re just another faction. They were dangerous enough that Ben Franklin infiltrated them – and that’s where he got the key that got Abbie out of Purgatory, btw.
T: Oh snap, Benjamin Franklin, original badass.
M: It’s the role Timothy Busfeld was born to play. We’ll skip the intensely whispered discourse between the Cranes, noting just that Katrina swears there will be and are no more secrets between them.
T: ::eye roll:: “But Ichabod, you surely must have known I was a dragon? I would never willingly keep that from you. I thought you knew – it’s in the parish register of [wherever they married]. I can show you.” [italics definitely not just mine]
M: And we can skip specifics about Abbie sneaking around the Club’s warehouse/mad scientist lair except to say that she take a bunch of pictures, including of a stone tablet, and makes off with the book the Club was using to maybe translate the tablet or something.
T: Okie go Abs!
M: The book tells them that Katrina’s symptoms are signs of the “vessel” being successfully incepted. “Inception?” at least two characters ask in disbelief.
M: There’s more! Ichabod reads on – “Delivery, and death of the vessel… within 10 to 12 hours”
T:WHAT. WAIT is this… IS AN ALIEN SPIDER GONNA COME POPPING OUT OF KATRINA EW
M: “You’re not ill!” Ichabod gapes. And her breathy go-to-commercial response is:
T: SHE *IS* PREGNANT
T: “Oh Ichabod, but I’ve only ever been with you.”
M: That is exactly the argument when we come back from commercials! Ichabod sulks some line about it possibly being Abraham’s kid and Katrina’s all “I swear, this thing is not born of any man!”
T: I had a flashback to Macbeth for a second. Specifically, this: http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/macbeth-and-macduff-get-into-an-argument-over-semantics
M: Yes, that, except with less spousal murder.