Why Watch? Sleepy Hollow’s ‘Root of All Evil’

Sleepy Hollow (Photo: Fox)

Sleepy Hollow is totally just turning into a screed on the evils of capitalism, right?

Between travel schedules, ‘jobs’, and familial commitments, lovers of Sleepy Hollow Tanya and Mooch don’t always get the chance to watch an episode within the week after its initial broadcast. Fortunately, at least one of the pair does. Even more fortunately, the other of the pair is more than willing to guess wildly about what actually happened.

Following confusion as to whether anyone *had* watched this week’s episode, this week’s transcript was edited for space, several highfalutin’ references to things like Ray Bradbury short stories, and a needlessly lengthy discourse on pie aesthetic and baked good bigotry.

The podcast may still occur, one of these days.

Tanya: Halloo!!

Mooch: I looked at that sideways and thought you said ‘Haircut!’

T: I just watched episode 2.

M: Oh, my quiz didn’t catch you up?1

T: It did but I also wants to see the kindred beast in action.

M: And? Was it everything you hoped it would beast?

T: And Henry is CREEPY. Also stern lady detective is stern. Woman don’t smile.

M: So, fun story – I couldn’t remember if I’d watched this week’s episode.2

T: I haven’t seen episode 3 yet.  I am busy making a pie album on Facebook. We can watch and scream things at each other on gchat.

M: Go real-time, and pause at commercials for us to catch up with one another?3

T: That works. I’m making tea & am getting a blanket. Questions going in:
A) Irving’s blood
B) Katrina’s noble sacrifice. How many episodes can they stretch it for?
C) stern detective lady. How long till Irving convinces her?
D) how long can Ichabod go without a paycheck?

M: The first one is not a question.4

T: HOW will it be used? What importance does his blood hold?

M: A) I’m sure it will be explained soon.
B) I don’t give a crap. Until those two learn to speak less-breathily, I do not care.
C) I want to know what her intriguing backstory vis a vis Mills’ mother actually portends.
D) Still unclear if he was ever being paid.

T: Also I haven’t even bit play yet & my mom already stole my blanket.5

M: Hexes. Blood is important for hexes and stuff. Ready?

T: Yes! And go!

Previouslies, etc. etc. and then things start.

M: That is far too good of a whittling job. And this is the most helpful/friendly front-desk clerk ever. Must be her first day.

T: Do you think fine motor skills comes with the mantle of horseman of war?

M: I think he just had 200 years to practice. So, true story – my first bank account was at Tarrytown Savings and Loan, which, last time I was back in town, was replaced by some national chain. Very sad.

T: Tragic. I’m sorry for your loss. Oo – stern sherrif has a heart! She had a dog.

M: Abbie’s vest was far too conveniently located. No cop has ever put on kevlar that quickly.

T: So… Rage. We’ve got rage? “aligning this mayhem with Henry” is a GREAT line… “Unspool it.” Ichabod’s on a roll.

M: Yes! That’s his befuddled by the present line of the episode right there. I’m loving that the tunnels have a continued use this season; they sort of got forgotten second half of last season.

T: Ooh counterfeiters!!

M: Called shubbers?

T: Oh I though it was shovers?

M: Whatevs.

T: Bankruptcy =/= evil. Thank you Ichabod. And now we’re pardoning Benedict Arnold!!

M: It’s an interesting retcon – although Arnold was never pitched as evil in my history classes. Just effectively turned when he didn’t think the rebellion would succeed.

T: Eggs Benedict have nothing to do with him. Right? They’re not turncoat eggs? Man, Abbie REALLY enunciates when she’s exchanging theories.

M: It’s the Intensity of Intellectual Progress. Or something.

T: Oh Henry. His voice is gorgeous.

M: Uh, I have commercials.

T: Oh I had credits. I’ll pause. Tell me when you’re back on. Meanwhile, my mom is so confused. Who is related to who? Is the new sheriff good or bad? (She calls her sleazy sheriff lady, btw. I think that’s because she can’t tell if she’s good or not.)

M: Back! So… Abraham has a head, because that would be just too weird to have a conversation otherwise.

T: Yes. I guess Henry has a necklace too? Everyone’s hair is different this episode.

M: The Sweet Air of Freedom was my second album, with the hit single “You Two Go Stop the Apocalypse (I’ll Be Fine)”.

T: Holly? Hawley?

M: Okay, I never like the sisters fighting, but this is the best written and acted exchange they’ve had.

T: Holi? HAIR EPISODE. Yep – and a real fight! Like with meat to it. Oh ho. Ichabod gets called Shakespeare. I like it!

M: I like when people call Ichabod out on being out-of-time. Doesn’t happen enough.

T: Or hint he’s being checked into the psych ward because of out of timey-ness?

M: That was just a good one-off line there [at the episode’s start]…and commercials. Side note – you know how you can tell this is shot in the south as opposed to NY? The streets are so wide.

T: Can we talk about the hair? Katrina’s was flat. Abbie got volume. New dude guy got Pantene-approved. Ichabod’s rocking a modified ponytail.

M: Hasn’t he always been rocking that?6

T: He had some looser front pieces this time around. And sometimes he had a full little ponytail. I think? It softens his face, whatever it is.

M: And we’re back. That is quite the model.

T: Creepy toy master Henry is creepy.

M: He needs one of those engineer caps if he’s going to start this hobby.

T: And a whistle. Oh damn – that little building almost looks like cheese.

M: You just ate!

T: Have we met? I’m always hungry for cheese. And pie.

M: My life is complete – a police supervisor person actually said ‘Name – my office.’ YES! Sheriff Stern can’t find any records he exists! Hee – ‘my identification is… at home’. Meanwhile, back at the plot: Well duh, of course he switched the coin.

T: Sigh.

M: No! Jenny! Don’t pick up the coin that has mysteriously fallen on the ground near to no one!

T: Jennifer. Of course. Henry is watching you…

M: We could really do without the Voiceovers of Intent.

T: Commercials. Okay so can we HUZZAH for the captain being skeptical? How DID Ichabod get away with it with Irving? It was a weird unexplained phone call right?

M: Irving has Connections to something big; not mason-connected, but there’s something else.

T: Who claimed Ichabod as a Cambridge prof? Remember that bit? Do we get to revisit that? HAIR. Privateer Hair!

M: Oh, that was a good aside about the beer labels. And Ichabod says he has no money! I think your question D has been answered.

T: Oh death by Jenny.

M: The name of your next band. Wait… consecrated glass? Really? Is that a thing?

T: Historical tie in. Hunting accident to come?

M: Snerk – ‘feels like centuries’. I’m more interested in where this desk sargent was last season.

T: Oh dear. Serious hunting accident to come. Jenny means business because her hair is UP.

M: Wait. WAIT. That map showed them on the west side of the river, right?

T: Yes? (Commercials)

M: That’s not just a different town, that’s a different COUNTY.

T: Ha. Geography. DOES NOT APPLY.

M: Whereas there are plenty of woods in the Sleepy Hollow area… I… can’t even. There has to be some reason they showed the river on the map.

T: I mean, they’re so big on historical accuracy. Geographic accuracy is just too much to ask for.

M: Like Ichabod and Abbie are about to drive across a scenic bridge and they want to justify its existence.

T: Geez Mooch. You can’t see the forest for the trees.

M: Go away.

T: (Just watch the pretty forest scenes.)

M: I’m still in commercials! Wait, now I’m back.

T: Holly or Hawley. I must know. “Our ranks of allies are getting thin.” “Your silence in the matter of my wife is most telling” – love. It.

M: So this is a monster of the week episode (unless we get mytharc real soon). We’re 3 episodes in and I have no real sense of the arc of the season. Henry, Katrina – they’re in the same place character-wise as last season.

T: Maybe the is the Parenting Season? Or the What Happened to Mrs Mills season?

M: The latter is likely it – which could be fine.

T: Please have Crane make a speech as distraction!! Oh. Oh! My mom fell asleep. 

M: Bwah! They’re in ‘Fredericks Manor’?

T: Uh huh….?

M: It’s a clear cover for Phillipseburg Manor,7 which is a well-travelled historic site not at all in the middle of the woods.

A brief computer failure prompts our dynamic duo to recap after the episode has finished:

M: And… according to the end credits, they’re calling it ‘Terrytown’ as opposed to ‘Tarrytown’. Which… I dunno.

T: Oh huh. But Dobbs Ferry got a shoutout, last episode?

M: It got a shoutout in the very first episode. So, the last ten minutes – watched only by you and I:

T: My mom woke up to comment that Henry always looks on the verge of tears. Then she went away to get tea.

M: Oh, so she missed him setting the bed on fire?

T: She saw that but was confused by his sad face.

M: This episode took a little bit to get going, but then landed punch after punch. In fact, once they got off the artifact of the week, it was great. I know there wouldn’t have been the conflict with Jenny crossing paths with the artifact, but still.

T: Yeah. Solid moments. Though it’s still wholly unclear about Sheriff Stern.

M: I think you’re right that this season’s arc might be heavily family backstory – how did these two become the Witnesses? We got much of that for Ichabod last season, now we can get Abbie’s side of things.

T: What happened to the mother? She was tormented, great – but what role did Reyes have? And everything is doubled [emotionally] since we get Jenny, too. Do you think we’ll meet more of Jenny’s “associates”?

M: They’re a handy means of advancing these stories, and they’ve leaned heavily on the local stuff already, i.e. the stuff they could get from the archives or historical society or tunnels. Doubtless there will be more to be gleaned, but in order to avoid ridiculousness you need those ‘outside’ artefacts.

T: Yup. How much more can Washington’s bible provide??!

M: Think we’ll get the Pantene Privateer more often?

T: I hope so. His hair was practically SCULPTURE.

M: So let’s recap: You found this episode high on the hair quotient meter and solid on clever dialogue between primary characters. I found it geographically abhorrent but very enjoyable.

T: Yes. A few witticisms about Ichabod being out of place/time. The new sheriff plays politics and doesn’t smile, but has heart because she shares dog stories and gives Abbie her mother’s file. OR IS IT ALL A PLOT.

M: I don’t think it’s all a plot. I think she’s going to discover the truth in parallel to Irving’s return. Annnnnd maybe she will be killed off.

T: I’m still curious about Irving’s blood. What is Henry’s big plan? *IS* he potentially going rogue and plotting his own takeover? Will katrina ever get her breath? Will the headless one get a better hairdresser? Henry is always on the verge of weeping, and is inexplicably drawn home. but can’t bear it, plus Moloch is bearing down on him, so POOF bed. (That one is mostly from my mom.)

M: This show continues to only dabble in world building, which is a shame.

T: I want more Ichabod trying on skinny jeans. Or trying a pumpkin spice latte. (Clearly, I really want to know his coffee tastes.)

M: Season 3. We’ll get a PSL joke in season 3.

T: Season 3: Ichabod Goes to Macy’s. Season 4: Abbie Takes Ichabod to Neiman Marcus. Season 5: Katrina Models Vera Wang. Season 6: Simon Cowell tells Katrina to breathe deeper.

M: There’s been no involvement with Metro North railroad yet…

T: OH YES OH YES can we talk about that? Why aren’t there any Metro North chase sequences?

M: Now that he has documents, maybe they’ll go into NYC… oh, now that I type that, definitely happening this season.

T: Public transportation brouhahas? Drunk Ichabod inciting riots? Oh, can he start an Occupy Tarrytown/Terrytown movement? He’s got some good rhetoric in there.

Next week – Tanya totally plans to watch the episode and quiz Mooch, who clearly isn’t paying any attention any more anyway.

  1. Implied smiley-face.  
  2. After much futzing with on-demand menus, it was determined that Mooch had watched the first ten minutes and thought he’d seen the entire thing, and that it wasn’t very good. Professional television coverage, everyone!  
  3. This becomes relevant shortly.  
  4. Everyone loves a pedant. Ladies…  
  5. By the way – welcome to this week’s guest commentator by proxy, Mrs. Tanya!  
  6. It should be noted here that Mooch wears t-shirts to work and sometimes doesn’t look in the mirror to catch his bed hair. Ladies…  
  7. Frederick Philipse owned that farm, so… nice work researchers.  

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About Aaron Mucciolo 206 Articles
He does things. That's all we can say at this time. E-mail: mooch@whatelseison.tv