5 Awesome Things from Nashville’s Ruke Wedding Planner

Nashville (Screen: ABC)
Nashville (Screen: ABC)

Everyone is either planning a Ruke wedding, planning a tour or meeting their new love interest and – surprise! – no one is happy.Engaged country superstar couple Luke and Rayna, a.k.a. “Ruke”, struggle to find a wedding date in the midst of their respective concert tours. In between bouts of morning sickness, Juliette wonders how she’s going to tell her ex Avery that she’s knocked up with his fetus. Sad Maddie and biological daddy Deacon share a mournful good-bye when he leaves to tour with Luke. After his album drops to number two, secretly gay country star Will works out his nerves at the gym and considers bringing his hot man trainer on tour. Glenn and Emily become suspicious when their boss Juliette blows another rehearsal with her zombie face. When Rayna announces to Maddie and Daphne that she and Luke are marrying at the beginning of November, Maddie yells at her mom for not accepting Deacon’s proposal instead. Rayna gives Deacon some pointers on how to not talk to a teenager. After Juliette’s rehearsals are postponed again, backup singer Zoey pushes Gunnar and Avery to get their band back together for The Big Backyard BBQ Party.1 Scarlett tries her hand at solo songwriting, but her new publisher recommends a dose of fun to temper her depressing lyrics. Practical dad Teddy grudgingly allows Maddie to attend The Big Backyard BBQ Party on the condition that she change out of her short-shorts (foreshadowing!). Deacon hates being on tour with Luke, and knows Luke is keeping him on as a form of torture. Meanwhile, Luke’s new backup singer, Pam, hits on Deacon at every available opportunity. Jeff the skeevy exec is wooing up-and-coming songstress Sadie Stone, who happens to be a huge Rayna Jaymes fan (foreshadowing?). Rayna calls Luke, suggests they postpone the wedding to get Maddie on board, and he throws his own tantrum. Juliette heads alone to Hollywood for a Patsy Cline biopic screen test with her possible leading man, Noah West. Beard wife Layla forces Will to include her onstage when he opens for Luke. As the trio readies for their Big Backyard BBQ Party performance, Avery gets drunk, Gunnar runs into old flame Kylie, and Zoey grows more jealous. Not content to solve her relationship problems via Skype, Rayna surprises Luke onstage in Los Angeles, which makes Deacon extra pissy. Oh, what a fun tour this is going to be! And it’s only gonna get better – more about that and four other awesome things from last night’s Nashville

They whine alike, they sigh alike, at times they even cry alike When perennially sad Maddie meets her friends at The Big Backyard BBQ Party, she yanks off her modest mini skirt to reveal those dang short shorts her daddy hates so much. Pretty soon she’s pounding a red Solo cup and letting some moptopped boy paw at her. Cousin Scarlett sees this from across the room and dutifully whisks Maddie away. As they’re driving back to Teddy’s, Maddie admits she wasn’t even having fun, because she doesn’t fit in, and nobody understands her, blah blah blah. Scarlett identifies this as their mutual artistic plight. “We feel very deeply, all of the time… The best way for people like us to deal with all them feelings is to write them down.” Aw, that’s some sweet big-cousin advice. Now you two run along and be annoying together, give everyone else a break, okay?

Rayna’s “brilliant” plan When Ruke are commencing post-concert sexy time in his LA hotel room, Rayna suggests they postpone the wedding until December. Luke can’t figure how that’s gonna work since they’ll be touring in different parts of the world. “We’re gonna combine our tours,” says Rayna (because that’s an easy fix, right?). Hence the Honeymoon Tour, to commence just in time for a midseason finale. Yep, Ms. Jaymes has it all figured out – “No more distance. No more drama.” HAHAHAHAHA! We should certainly hope not.

Layla’s Ultimatum Evil Zooey Deschanel is none too pleased after Jeff tells Will she isn’t allowed onstage with him, so she pays the skeevy exec a surprise visit in his hotel room. “I’m not a washed up singer,” she says. “And Will is no ordinary husband.” Okay, so at least she and Jeff see eye-to-eye on the “Will’s gay” thing. That’s when Layla tells Jeff he’s gonna make her a gold record selling star, or else, “Your little cash cow of a cowboy is gonna be outed by his wife.” Too bad she hasn’t figured out how to channel that banter into a decent song, or this nutty plan might work!

No fun After Scarlett’s weak attempt at going out and having a good time at The Big Backyard BBQ, she presents her publisher with a new ditty.

Scarlett: I took your assignment to heart and I came up with a song I really like.
Publisher (scanning the lyrics): “Feeling like an outsider… peer pressure…” Scarlett, it reads more sad than fun.

So, being a complete and utter downer isn’t your idea of “fun”? Oh, well. Maybe Scarlett can get Maddie to submit it to the high school literary magazine.

Rayna don’t preach When Rayna comes home from the LA trip, she finds a teary eyed Juliette sitting at her doorstep. Jules looks AMAZING, like “Papa Don’t Preach” Madonna dressed as a ninja. Having nowhere else to go – because she tried talking to Avery but he was too busy slutting it up with some other blonde – she shows Rayna her ultrasound pic. And just before Rayna can commence a lecture, cut to the credits. Great cliffhanger, show!

  1. Oh, show. I know you need a new drama-centered event every week. But you couldn’t do better than The Big Backyard BBQ?  

A Brief Word From Our Sponsors: