Haikus: Dancing With the Stars Season 17 Week 1

Dancing With the Stars (Photo: ABC)
Dancing With the Stars (Photo: ABC)

The 17th season of Dancing With the Stars kicked off with cha chas, foxtrots, and contemporary routines. With one of the show’s best casts ever, we’ll be recapping the season 17 syllables at a time.

Brant Daugherty

Channeled VMAs

With twerkless Blurred Lines routine

Not bad. 22.


Leah Remini

Foxtrot to Winehouse

A little wobbly in parts

Judges gave 7’s


Corbin Bleu


Nice job, but this is ballroom.

He scored 24.


Jack Osbourne

Another foxtrot

Jack dressed like Pee-wee Herman

Mom cried. 23


Amber Riley

Counting steps to Wings

She’s completely overpraised

Twenty-seven?! What?!


Elizabeth Berkley

Imagine routine

Contemporary again

Three 8’s. Nice, ringer.


Bill Nye

Danced to “Weird Science”

Going for zany Cha Cha

Bad news: 14 points


Keyshawn Johnson

Cha cha to “Treasure”

Stomps about; Pro dances ’round

Week one 17


Christina Milian

Partnered with Ballas

“Gravity” contempo dance

It’s fine, 22


Bill Engvall

Survived his first dance

Described as “smoothy woothy”

He earned three sixes


Valerie Harper


Some missteps, recovered well

Sevens, crowd support


Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi

Call her Nicole, please

Cha cha cha to Wild Ones

Good job: 8-8-7

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About Mike McComb 931 Articles
Mike has been writing about TV online since 2008, when he started the blog WTF Little House on the Prairie? The blog was a project to practice writing about television analytically prior to getting an MA in Television-Radio-Film from Syracuse University, or as he likes to call it "TV Camp." After a lengthy stint at TVLatest, Mike wanted to launch a site that brought in classic TV, diamonds in the rough, and the shows everybody watches. E-mail: mike@whatelseison.tv